Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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