A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Mooses

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List of people I love: Hitler Stalin Mussolini Ted Bundy Charles Manson Hannibal Lecter Vladamir Putin Satan Justin Beiber One Direction Chris Brown Chris Brown's parents Oh, and my mother. I love my mother, too.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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