The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings! What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Adelle....

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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So theres a man, a horse, and a piglet in a helicopter. Upon noticing this, the pilot jumps out of the plane and the animals go crashing to their doom.

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Why did jenny fall off the swing? ...Cause she has no arms Knock, Knock Who's there? not jenny

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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