Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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#IHateHashtags

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops