why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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I love pissing people off :P

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Please don't shoot me

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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