Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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Q: What did Bob want for dinner? A: Cheese Burger, Fries, Coke, No Beverage

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Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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