Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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THe Election

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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how man

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops