Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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A fat guy!

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If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

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Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

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What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

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Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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