Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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A Jewish man, a christian man, and a buddist man walk in bar, They all have to much to drink and are arrested for driving under the influence while trying to get back home.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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