knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with no punchline

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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