How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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An man walks to a bra

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A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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