What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops