You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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