A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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say it ten times fast: oh

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

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your sister has 1 boob thats funny

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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