Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops