Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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