Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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Why did Jenny cry? Because everyday Jenny is bullied. Jenny cried for this reason, but nothing happened. The bully still bullies her today.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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What happened to the child who was rushed into hospital with a deadly disease? He pulled through. I'ts depressing to be constantly hearing sad anti jokes, so here is a nice one. The child in question lived to eighty one, had a great life and a good job. See, it's nice to read a happy anti joke!

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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A black man sees a watch that he want. He then purchases it with his hard earned money.

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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