How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops