What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

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Why were the Dinosaurs wiped out? Porridge.

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What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

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A man walks down the street past a flamboyant homosexual male and kills him in a hate crime. This homosexual was Dylan Glogowski

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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