Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how did harry styles get in one diretion god

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hats better than a stick? A stone

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops