What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops