roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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matt is fat

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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