Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If you are reading this you are a nerd

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats 1+1? window!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops