Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris swims through land

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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What's the difference between a horse and a gorilla? Their penis size. Horses have relatively large penises, while gorillas are known to have the smallest penises proportional to their body size.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops