Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

I don't get it

alert("Hello");

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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