Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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vatalk you are retarded!!!!!

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for two

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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