once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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someone jumped off a bridge he died

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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