What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops