If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped sixes mom

A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

An African American and an hispanic man are in a car, who's driving? No one, they are having sex

What is the name of the car? What

When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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