Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I have read and agreed to the terms of service

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what is worse than a guy pissed?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops