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Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

Why was the little boy crying? Because his older brother was forcing him to pee on an electrical socket.

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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