what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Knock knock Who's there? The chicken that crossed the road

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

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what's black and can't swim?

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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