What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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