What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

G:nock nock B:come in!

What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

How will the world end? That information is unknown

Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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