Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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What happened to the boy who wnt through puberty? He bacame a man. There is nothing funny about a perfectly normal expirience that everyone goes through wether they like it or not.

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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