A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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Shaun Sutton Call me: 1-800-tryhard ;)

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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What did the transvestite hooker say when he/she saw a robot fighting a dinosaur? That's strange.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Twinkle twinke little star How I wonder what you are? Star: (Noun) A fixed luminous point in the night sky that is a large, remote incandescent body like the sun.

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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why did the african american man get shot? he partook in a gang life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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