Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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the NAACP

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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