Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +5

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's white and looks like paper? Paper

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops