my mom died because she was morbidly obese

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

star wars kid

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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