Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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VITAMIN C!

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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