There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

why did the boy die? because he got shot

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

hi

ewrg

Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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