There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

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Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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