what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

thumb_up thumb_down -11

your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops