What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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What is funnier than 24 69

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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