what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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matt is fat

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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HEY!

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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