Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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