Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

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Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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eat a hot dog

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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Why was Ethan talking to the potato? Because he is stupid.

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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