Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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knock knock go away!!!

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#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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