A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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Pianos.

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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knock knock go away

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops