Roses are Tits Violets are Tits I love Tits TITS!

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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24

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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I agree

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Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

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theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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