whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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