Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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This is just like Facebook. If you guys want to like comments, or even comment on them, just get Facebook.

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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what do santa clause and a blueberry have in common they both have beards....except the blueberry

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Cripples are lame.

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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