Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

poop.

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

pudding

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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