What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

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WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was dead

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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Fat people

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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Lady, calm down, you are missing out on the details here. We knew he was selling information as "The Wiz", from there on it was no problem tracking him down, but having us track him down at the core of Point Zero, would have dragged you all down with him, he was into sharing not only precious Intel, but also some sick shit, nobody is going to mourn him, and neither should you. We sent him a tip so he would get to some location where he would still be able to bypass the lockdown (easy to assume a little geek knows how to manage this), but a small anonymous tip would never have been enough to make him run for it, the next part was to make sure the info on his anonymous message, begin to come true. Sorry about the rest, I needed to know what position he had among "the Order", and he was shot down by a sniper, he knew too much, his involvement, and abilities as both a liar and a traitor, could easily have made it so he would have lied the blame on you, so he could have gone free. And believe me, this happens a lot, and is probably what happened to the old underground as well, think about it, you begin selling some dirty info videos, pictures of things nobody should see in the name of some "organization" (I have no idea what you call your thing, and it is best you never tell me). Then what is left? You claim the entire organization you work for, are the ones responsible for your dirty work, you tell your captors, and you go home rewarded with freedom taking the whole organization down with you, when in this case, the one that would have gone free, would have been the only one to blame. I know what the rest of you are doing, I mean I was part of its foundation years ago, and there is nothing illegal about it, yet people such as the feds would as they did, have brought the whole place down again, and as they had nothing to accuse us for back then other than "we do not like this", they never shared this to the mainstream media. Cant have that happening again, no matter the cost, and if you ask me, some small geek pedophile selling bullshit, should not blame you all, but die, that is justice. It was not "nice knowing me", we will meet again, I mean it, even if I have to get your cell number on "gray terms", you might not like it, but I will call you, on friendly terms of course. The setup is finished, got to go, cant sit here typing on my laptop anymore, gotta get back to the office.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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