call me maybe.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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lewis=cardiac

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops