Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

Who is big and stupid My brother

Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

Gustavo Andrade

Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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