A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

Cat ate a battery, did volts.

What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

the power to turn magnetism into light

Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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